Companion services — when they need company more than care

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice. Please consult appropriate professionals for guidance specific to your situation.

Your parent doesn't need someone to help them shower or dress. They're managing those things. But your parent is spending hours alone every day, and you can hear it in their voice when you call. They're lonely. They're anxious. They mention the weather a lot because they need to talk to someone, and it's starting to worry you that they're not getting enough human connection.

What they really need is someone to be there. Someone to sit with them, talk with them, maybe go for a walk or go to an appointment with them. Not medical care, but company. Companionship. A presence.

This is where companion services come in. They're different from home health aides, and understanding that difference could make a real impact on your parent's quality of life.

What Companion Services Actually Are

A companion is someone who comes to your parent's home or comes with your parent on outings to provide social interaction and practical support. Unlike a medical aide, a companion isn't trained in medical care and doesn't do medical tasks. They're there for the relationship.

A companion might come two or three afternoons a week for a couple of hours. They might sit and talk with your parent over lunch. They might help sort through a drawer or look through old photos. They might watch a television show together or play cards. They might go with your parent to a doctor appointment to keep them company in the waiting room. They might help your parent remember to take their medications because they're there, not because they're administering them.

Some companions also do light meal preparation. They might help make lunch, or prepare ingredients for dinner, or tidy the kitchen afterward. Some might help with light housekeeping, like tidying up a bit while they're there. But their primary job isn't caregiving. Their primary job is being someone who cares.

A companion might also be someone who takes your parent somewhere. Maybe they come and drive your parent to the grocery store, or to a restaurant for a meal, or to a library or park. Your parent gets out, gets stimulation, and gets company all at once.

The cost is usually less than medical home care because no medical training is required. Companions come from various sources: agencies that specialize in this, home care agencies that offer both medical and non-medical services, church organizations, volunteer organizations, or even individuals you hire privately.

Finding the Right Person

The fit between your parent and a companion matters enormously. A companion who is technically available but incompatible with your parent becomes just another task you have to manage, not a solution.

Start by thinking about what your parent actually needs or wants in terms of personality and interests. Does your parent need someone quiet and calm, or someone more energetic and talkative? Does your parent like being involved in activities, or do they prefer quiet company? Does your parent care about a shared interest, like a love of gardening or old movies? Is age important to your parent? Would they feel more comfortable with someone close to their age, or would someone younger feel fresh and interesting?

Talk to the agency or organization about your parent's personality and needs. Don't settle for "whoever is available next." A good companion service will want to match people thoughtfully. They might ask questions about your parent's interests, living situation, mobility level, and what kind of company would be most meaningful.

When you're considering someone, ask about their experience working with older adults. Have they worked as a companion before? Have they worked in care settings? Do they have experience with people who have specific conditions your parent might have, like dementia or hearing loss?

Trust your instinct about personality fit. Your parent will spend several hours a week with this person. If your parent seems uncomfortable, or if they don't seem to connect, it's worth trying someone else. This isn't being too picky. This is making sure the service actually works.

Making the Relationship Work

Once you've found a companion, the first few visits are an adjustment period for everyone. Your parent might feel awkward having someone new in their home. The companion is learning how your parent likes things done. They're learning your parent's routine and preferences.

Be clear with the companion about what you're hoping will happen. Is the main goal for your parent to get out of the house more? Is it to have someone to talk to? Is it to help with specific household tasks? Is it a combination? When the companion understands the actual goal, they're more likely to create the right kind of support.

Give your parent and the companion time to build a relationship. The first visit might feel formal. By the third or fourth visit, they're probably more comfortable with each other. Don't judge the fit based on the first week.

Check in with your parent about how it's going. Is the timing working? Does your parent like the person? Is there anything that would make it better? Sometimes small adjustments make a big difference. Maybe your parent would prefer if the companion came on a different day, or at a different time of day. Maybe your parent would like to go somewhere specific during one visit each week.

Also check in with the companion, especially if you're paying privately. How is your parent doing? Is there anything about the arrangement that isn't working? Is your parent engaged, or do they seem withdrawn? A good companion will tell you honestly if they're concerned about your parent's wellbeing.

The Small Changes That Matter

One thing that's easy to underestimate is the power of consistent, meaningful human connection. Your parent might not become a completely different person because they have a companion visiting twice a week. But they might eat better because someone is there to eat with them. They might sleep better because they're less lonely and anxious. They might feel more motivated to get dressed and stay engaged with the day. They might remember to take their medications. They might feel less scared.

These seem like small things. They're actually everything.

Your parent might also end up genuinely enjoying the time with their companion. They might look forward to these visits in a way they look forward to little else. They might tell you stories about things they did together. They might feel less invisible and less forgotten.

The presence of another human being, someone who shows up regularly and cares about your parent, can transform your parent's experience of a day that might otherwise feel empty. That's not a small thing. That's exactly what your parent needs.

How To Help Your Elders provides educational content for family caregivers. This is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or financial advice. Every family situation is different — what works for one may not work for another.