Digital estate planning — passwords, accounts, and online life

This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice. Every family situation is different, and you should consult with appropriate professionals about your specific circumstances.

Your mother passed away. She has a Facebook account with nearly a thousand friends. There are photos there you've never seen, messages, memories. Your brother wants to memorialize the account. You try to log in so you can request memorialization. You can't get in. You don't know her password. Facebook offers to delete the account instead. You realize there might be photos of your mom's life on there that can never be recovered. You also realize you have no idea what other accounts she had online.

This is increasingly common. Older adults have digital lives now. They have email accounts, Facebook accounts, photo storage, online banking, cloud storage, subscription services. They might have been writing a memoir in Google Docs. They might have a photo library on Shutterfly. They might have investments tracked online. And when something happens to them, you have no idea what exists or how to access any of it.

Digital estate planning is the process of dealing with someone's digital assets and accounts after they die or become incapacitated. It's different from traditional estate planning. You're not dealing with property and money in the traditional sense. You're dealing with accounts, passwords, digital assets, and online identities. Understanding what your parent has online and planning for what happens to it matters increasingly.

This is not just about Facebook photos, though that matters. It's about making sure you can access email accounts to notify people of death or significant change. It's about finding financial accounts. It's about accessing cloud storage that might contain important documents. It's about understanding what online presence your parent has and what should happen to it.

Understanding the Basics

Digital assets include anything your parent has online. Email accounts, certainly. Social media accounts. Online banking. Investment accounts. Photo storage like Google Photos or Shutterfly. Document storage like Google Drive or OneDrive. Online subscriptions. Streaming services. Cloud storage. Loyalty programs. Shopping accounts. Any account that lives on the internet is a digital asset.

Some digital assets have financial value. Online bank accounts contain money. Investment accounts contain assets. Some have informational value. Email accounts might contain important information or correspondence. Photo storage might contain irreplaceable family photos. Some have emotional or sentimental value. Social media accounts contain memories and connections. Some are just subscriptions you might want to cancel to stop paying monthly fees.

The challenge with digital assets is that access is governed by terms of service, not by property law. If your parent owns real property, you can sell it as part of their estate. If your parent has a bank account, the bank can release the money with proper documentation. But if your parent has a Gmail account, Google's terms of service govern what happens. Gmail doesn't belong to you when your parent dies. It belongs to Google. You don't have a property right to it. You have only what Google allows you to have.

This is why the terms of service matter. Google has one policy. Facebook has another. Every company handles digital assets differently. Some will give you access to download a loved one's data after death. Some will delete accounts. Some will let you memorialize an account so it remains but nobody can log in. You have to know what your parent's accounts are so you can figure out what options each company offers.

There's also the question of security and privacy. Your parent's email might contain sensitive information. Your parent's online banking requires security. You need to be able to access what your parent would want you to have access to, but not compromise security. And while your parent is still living, you might need some access for healthcare decisions or financial decisions, but your parent has privacy rights that need to be respected.

The best approach is to have your parent create a list of accounts and passwords while they're still capable and can authorize you to have that information. This might be a document kept in a safe place. It might be using a password manager that your parent shares with you. It might be something else entirely. The point is that your parent is deliberately giving you the information, not you secretly accessing accounts.

You'll also want to think about what your parent wants to happen to different digital assets. Some things should be deleted. Some should be preserved. Some should be given to specific people. Your parent probably has opinions about what happens to their email, their social media, their photos. That should be documented.

Your Parent's Specific Situation

Start by asking your parent what accounts they have online. This is easier if you're talking to your parent while they have capacity. Some people have emails they've used for years and barely remember. Some have social media accounts they've abandoned. Some have subscriptions they forgot about. Some have accounts they want to keep private.

Ask your parent about email accounts. Most people have at least one, possibly multiple. If your parent has been online for a long time, they might have old accounts they don't use anymore. They might have accounts they don't even remember. Older adults sometimes have accounts from free email services or old providers that no longer exist.

Ask about financial accounts that are online. Does your parent do online banking? Do they have investment accounts? Do they have a PayPal account or other digital payment systems? Do they buy things online and have accounts with retailers?

Ask about social media. Does your parent have a Facebook account? Instagram? Twitter? LinkedIn? Nextdoor? These are increasingly common, even among older adults. Your parent might have an account they've been very active on, or an account they barely use.

Ask about photo storage. Does your parent store photos in the cloud? Google Photos is common. Shutterfly, SmugMug, and other services are used by people who care about organizing photos. Dropbox and iCloud store photos for backup.

Ask about document storage. Is your parent using Google Drive to store documents? Are they using OneDrive? Are they using the cloud backup on their computer? Are there important documents stored online?

Ask about subscriptions and streaming. Does your parent subscribe to services like Netflix, Disney Plus, Kindle Unlimited, Audible, or other streaming services? Do they have magazine subscriptions, app subscriptions, or subscription boxes? These things cost money monthly and should be canceled if your parent wouldn't want to keep paying.

Your parent might also have been creating something online. A memoir in Google Docs. A family history website. A blog. Photos organized in an online gallery. Understand what your parent has created and what they would want to happen to it.

For accounts your parent is willing to share with you now, ask them to write down the passwords. This might feel odd—asking your parent to give you passwords. But with their willing participation and their instruction, it's appropriate. This should be documented somewhere secure, not just remembered.

Your parent should also specify in their will or in a separate document what they want to happen to digital assets. Should their email be deleted? Should someone manage it temporarily to notify people of their death? Should their social media account be memorialized or deleted? Should their photos be given to someone? Should subscriptions be canceled? This is your parent's choice while they have capacity.

Taking Next Steps

Create a digital inventory. Work with your parent to list all the digital accounts and assets they have. You might create a simple document that lists the account, where it is (the company), the type of account, and any access information if your parent is comfortable sharing.

For each account, note whether it's something with financial value (the bank account), informational value (the email with important messages), sentimental value (the photo account), or something that's primarily a subscription that should be canceled (a streaming service).

For important accounts, find out what the company's policy is about access after death or incapacity. Most companies have a policy posted online. Google has a policy about legacy accounts. Facebook has a policy about memorialization. Microsoft has a policy. YouTube has a policy. Find out what each company allows.

Create a document with passwords, but keep it secure. This might be a shared password manager that your parent gives you access to. This might be a sealed envelope that stays in a safe deposit box. This might be kept with the attorney who handles your parent's estate planning. Whatever method you use, it should be secure now and accessible after something happens to your parent.

Create a separate document that specifies your parent's preferences about digital assets. This might be as simple as, "Cancel all subscriptions. Delete my email and social media. Give my photo library to my daughter." Or it might be more detailed. This document should be stored somewhere it will be found—with your parent's will, with their attorney, in the same place as your parent's other legal documents.

Share appropriate access information with whoever your parent names as executor or healthcare power of attorney. The person who's managing your parent's affairs needs to know about the digital accounts and have access to what's necessary.

Consider whether your parent might lose capacity before they die. If your parent has dementia or another condition that might affect capacity, understand what digital access you might need while your parent is still living. If you have power of attorney for finances, you might need to manage online banking. If you have power of attorney for healthcare, you might need to manage your parent's healthcare-related email accounts. This is different from what happens after death, and you should plan for it accordingly.

Make sure any passwords your parent shares with you now are protected. Use a password manager if you're going to store multiple passwords. Keep them secure. Only share with people your parent wants to have access.

This is one of those planning areas that many people haven't thought about yet. But digital life is part of life now. Most older adults have some online presence. Planning for what happens to that presence when your parent becomes incapacitated or dies is increasingly necessary. Starting with a conversation with your parent about what accounts exist and what they want to happen is the first step.

How To Help Your Elders is an educational resource. We do not provide medical, legal, or financial advice. The information in this article is general in nature and may not apply to your specific situation. If you are concerned about a loved one's cognitive health or safety, consult with their healthcare provider or contact your local Area Agency on Aging for guidance and support.