Questioning prescriptions — when to push back and how

This article is meant to help you understand medication management better. It does not replace medical advice. Always consult with your parent's doctor before making changes to their medications.

You sit in the doctor's office with your parent. The doctor writes a prescription, hands it over, and the appointment ends. Three minutes. No discussion of why this medication, no mention of side effects, no explanation of what to expect. Your parent looks confused. You feel like something important just happened but nobody bothered to explain it. You might have a nagging feeling that this prescription doesn't make sense. And sometimes, it doesn't.

Most doctors are thoughtful and careful about prescribing. But the system creates pressures and shortcuts. A doctor sees fifteen patients an hour. A patient comes in with a complaint. The quickest solution is often a prescription. Sometimes the right solution is a medication. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes there's a better option that the doctor assumes you'll think to ask about. Sometimes a prescription is premature, the dose is wrong, or the medication isn't appropriate for your parent's specific situation.

You have the right to question prescriptions. You have the right to ask for explanations. You have the right to push back if something doesn't seem right.

When Prescriptions Don't Make Sense

Trust your instincts. If a prescription feels wrong, it might be. Some warning signs include:

Your parent already takes a medication for the same condition. Why are they getting another one? Sometimes combining medications is appropriate, but sometimes doctors don't realize they're prescribing for the same condition. You catch it and save your parent from an unnecessary medication.

The prescription seems to be treating a side effect of another medication. Your parent experiences constipation from a pain medication, and the doctor prescribes a laxative instead of adjusting the pain medication or choosing a different pain medication. This is medication on top of medication, addressing the symptom rather than the problem.

The medication is prescribed for a very short-term symptom that might resolve on its own. An antibiotic for a cold (colds are viral and antibiotics don't help), a sedative for situational anxiety that will pass, a pain medication for a minor ache that's likely to get better naturally within days.

The medication is something your parent explicitly doesn't want and expressed that preference before this visit. Some patients have very clear preferences about certain medications, and these preferences should be respected.

The prescription contradicts something the doctor said just moments before. The doctor said your parent needs to reduce salt intake for their heart, then prescribes an antacid with high sodium content. These inconsistencies suggest the doctor might not have thought through all the implications.

Your parent is already taking multiple medications and a new one just gets added to the list without discussion of whether others could be stopped or adjusted instead.

The medication is prescribed for something that was just diagnosed, but no clear treatment plan is discussed. Sometimes the best approach is observation rather than immediate medication, especially in older people where side effects might outweigh benefits.

How to Question Respectfully

The way you question matters. Your goal is to get information and make sure the decision is sound. Your goal is not to undermine your parent's doctor or create conflict. Respectful questioning actually strengthens the relationship between your parent and their doctor by ensuring that decisions are deliberate and well-thought-out.

In the moment, if you have a quick question, ask it simply. "Can you explain why my mother is starting this medication rather than adjusting the dose of her existing heart medication?" Most doctors will take a moment to explain. They're not offended by thoughtful questions.

If you want more time to discuss something, say so. "I have some concerns about this medication, but I want to have a full conversation about it rather than rush. Could we schedule a follow-up call or a brief appointment to discuss it?" A good doctor will make time.

Ask open questions rather than leading questions. Don't say "Isn't there a risk of serious side effects with this medication?" Ask instead, "What are the potential side effects I should watch for?" Let the doctor provide the information rather than arguing about it.

Ask about the reasoning. "Help me understand why this medication is the best choice right now." Listen to the answer. The doctor might explain something you didn't know that makes the prescription make sense. Or they might realize mid-explanation that they haven't thought it through fully.

Ask about alternatives. "Are there other medications or approaches we could try instead?" Sometimes there are. Sometimes there aren't. But asking the question gives the doctor the opportunity to consider options.

Ask about goals. "What are we trying to accomplish with this medication? How will we know if it's working?" Clear goals help you and your parent understand whether the medication is doing what it's supposed to do.

Ask about timeline. "Is this something my parent needs to start immediately, or could we try some other approaches first and then reconsider medication if they don't work?" Some conditions truly require immediate medication. Others have time to try less aggressive approaches first.

If you disagree with a prescription after hearing the doctor's explanation, you have options. You can ask to wait and see if the condition improves without medication. You can ask to try a lower dose initially. You can ask for a second opinion from another doctor. You can ask to postpone the decision and try again at a follow-up visit. You don't have to accept a prescription if you don't feel comfortable with it.

When to Escalate

If you have concerns about a medication your parent is already taking and experiencing problems with it, escalate the conversation. Ask for a phone call with the doctor rather than just mentioning it at the next appointment. If the problem is serious (your parent is very confused, having hallucinations, having trouble breathing), call immediately or go to the emergency room. Don't wait for an appointment.

If a medication is causing problems and the doctor dismisses your concerns, ask to speak with a pharmacist. Pharmacists often have different perspectives and more time for detailed conversations about medications. If the pharmacist agrees there might be an issue, they can contact the doctor on your behalf.

If you feel your parent's doctor is not listening or is dismissing reasonable concerns, consider switching doctors. You don't need to stay with a doctor you don't trust. Finding a doctor who listens to you and your parent and is willing to discuss medication decisions thoroughly is one of the best things you can do for your parent's health.

Never simply fill a prescription you don't understand or don't feel good about. If that means asking the pharmacist to hold the prescription while you get more information from the doctor, do that. If that means not filling the prescription without a full conversation with your parent's doctor, do that. Your parent's safety is more important than following orders or being polite.

Learning From Mistakes

Sometimes you'll question a prescription and later realize the doctor had good reasons. That's fine. The conversation still served a purpose. It clarified the reasoning. It made you and your parent understand what the medication is meant to do and how to monitor for success or problems.

Sometimes you'll question a prescription and the doctor will realize they hadn't thought it through fully. They might change their mind. They might agree that a lower dose or different medication makes sense. They might suggest trying something else first before jumping to medication. These moments are valuable. They prevent harm.

Keep learning about your parent's medications. Read the information sheets from the pharmacy. Ask the pharmacist questions. If a side effect develops, ask whether it's related to the medication. Stay informed and stay engaged. This ongoing knowledge helps you ask better questions over time.

Building Partnership

The best outcome is when you and your parent's doctor develop a real partnership. You know your parent best. You notice subtle changes. You know their values and preferences. The doctor has medical training and expertise. Together, you can make good decisions.

This partnership doesn't happen automatically. It requires good communication. It requires respecting the doctor's expertise while also sharing your observations and concerns. It requires asking questions and listening to answers. It requires being honest if something isn't working and willing to try different approaches.

If you find yourself constantly at odds with a doctor, questioning most prescriptions and feeling unheard, consider finding a different doctor. Life is too short to work with someone you don't trust. A doctor who listens to you, explains their reasoning, and respects your input is worth the effort of finding.

The Courage to Speak

Many people feel uncomfortable questioning doctors. Doctors are authority figures. They have medical expertise. It's easy to feel like you're overstepping by asking questions or expressing concerns. But your parent's safety depends on your courage to speak.

You don't need medical training to notice when something seems off. You don't need a degree to ask "what else could we try?" You don't need expertise to observe that your parent seems worse on a new medication. These observations matter. They're important information that helps doctors make better decisions.

Overcome the discomfort. Ask the questions. Speak up if something concerns you. Propose alternatives. Suggest second opinions. Do what your parent needs, even if it feels awkward or uncomfortable in the moment. Your parent can't always advocate for themselves. That job falls to you. Do it with courage.

This article is meant to help you understand medication management better. It does not replace medical advice. Always consult with your parent's doctor before making changes to their medications.