This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice. Every family situation is different, and you should consult with appropriate professionals about your specific circumstances.

Signs That Someone Is Financially Exploiting Your Parent

Financial exploitation doesn't announce itself. It doesn't come with a warning label. It happens quietly, often in ways that your parent rationalizes or doesn't fully recognize. By the time your parent realizes something is wrong, significant money might be gone. If you're watching for the warning signs, you might catch exploitation before it becomes severe. The key is knowing what to look for.

Some signs are obvious. Large cash withdrawals that your parent can't explain. An account your parent doesn't remember opening. A caregiver who suddenly has an expensive new car. Some signs are subtler. Your parent becoming secretive about money. Your parent suddenly having less money than they used to. Your parent being isolated from other family members.

Most of the warning signs point to one thing: something about the money situation has changed. If you know what your parent's normal financial situation looks like, changes become visible.

Tracking Your Parent's Money

The foundation of noticing financial exploitation is understanding what your parent's finances look like when things are normal. You don't need to be intrusive about this. You just need to know the basics.

What are your parent's regular income sources and approximately how much they receive? Social Security, pension, part-time work, investments. The total should be relatively consistent month to month.

What are your parent's regular expenses? Housing, utilities, food, insurance, healthcare. These vary seasonally but generally stay within a range.

How much does your parent have in savings? Your parent should have a sense of this, even if they're not detailed.

What assets does your parent have? A house, vehicles, investments. Your parent should know what they own.

When you know these baseline numbers, changes become noticeable. If your parent used to have $30,000 in savings and now has $5,000, that's a change worth asking about. If your parent's bills suddenly skyrocket, that's a change worth asking about. If your parent mentions money is tight when they used to be comfortable, that's a change worth investigating.

Managing Day-to-Day Finances

If you have any involvement with your parent's finances, monitor them regularly. Don't just handle what you're asked to handle. Pay attention to what's happening across all accounts. Look at who has access. Look at transactions. Look for patterns.

Bank statements and credit card statements are available online for most financial institutions. If your parent is willing to share access, review them regularly. Look for unfamiliar merchants, large transfers, or charges that don't make sense.

Ask your parent about significant transactions. "I see you withdrew $3,000 cash. What was that for?" Casual questions help you understand what's normal and what might be exploitation.

If your parent has a caregiver, monitor accounts that the caregiver has access to more carefully. A caregiver taking money for legitimate care expenses is different from a caregiver enriching themselves. The difference is often visible in the account activity.

If someone other than your parent or a designated manager (like a power of attorney) has access to accounts, ask why. What is that person's role? Why do they have access? Are they making withdrawals or transfers? Are they authorized to do so?

Notice if your parent's bills are being paid on time. Late bills are a sign of financial trouble. If you know your parent was managing bills fine before and suddenly bills are late, something has changed. Either your parent is having difficulty, or someone else is interfering with bill payment.

Notice if your parent seems stressed about money. Your parent saying things like "I don't know where my money goes" or "I'm running out of money" when they used to be financially comfortable suggests something is wrong.

Planning for the Long-Term

Understand how long your parent's resources would last under normal circumstances. If your parent has $100,000 in savings and spends $3,000 a month, the math says about three years. If your parent is burning through savings faster than that timeline would suggest, investigate why.

If you notice patterns of exploitation, document them. Keep records of transactions, dates, amounts. Take screenshots of account statements. Write down conversations where your parent mentioned money concerns. Build a factual record.

If you see red flags, talk to your parent. "Mom, I noticed large cash withdrawals. Where is that money going?" Your parent might not even realize how much money is leaving. Some parents are vague about finances and don't track their own spending.

If your parent is isolated and you suspect exploitation, try to maintain contact and visibility. Regular conversations with your parent help you notice changes. If your parent is isolated from other family members, that isolation might be intentional by the person exploiting them.

Pay attention to who has access to your parent and who controls your parent's schedule. Someone who isolates your parent from family, friends, or professional advisors might be doing so to hide exploitation. Someone who controls your parent's appointments or communications might be controlling more than just that.

Notice if your parent seems anxious or afraid around certain people. Your parent might not directly say they're being exploited, but body language and emotional responses can signal something is wrong.

If a caregiver or family member suddenly becomes hostile to questions about finances, that's a red flag. A legitimate manager of your parent's finances should be able to explain what they're doing with the money. Defensiveness suggests something to hide.

If your parent changes their will or gives away significant assets and you don't understand the reason, ask about it. Has your parent thought through the decision, or is someone pressuring your parent to make changes?

Red flags for financial exploitation include caregiver or family members suddenly having expensive new purchases, your parent becoming less financially comfortable while the exploiter becomes more comfortable, large transfers or gifts to one person, your parent becoming secretive about finances, your parent having less control over their own money, your parent being isolated from people who might notice the exploitation.

The single most important thing is paying attention. If you're aware of your parent's normal financial situation, changes become visible. If changes are visible, you can investigate. If you investigate, you can either confirm your parent is fine or catch exploitation early.

How To Help Your Elders is an educational resource. We do not provide medical, legal, or financial advice. The information in this article is general in nature and may not apply to your specific situation. If you are concerned about a loved one's cognitive health or safety, consult with their healthcare provider or contact your local Area Agency on Aging for guidance and support.