Smart home technology for elderly parents — what actually helps

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice. Please consult appropriate professionals for guidance specific to your situation.

Every technology conference you attend, every article you read about aging in place, every ad that pops up on your phone seems to suggest that the answer is more technology. Smart homes. Connected devices. Sensors. Real-time monitoring. Alerts and notifications. Your parent could live alone but completely supervised through a network of devices sending data about everything they do. It sounds wonderful in theory. It sounds like the solution that lets your parent stay home while you remotely manage their safety from a distance.

In practice, it's more complicated. Some smart home technology genuinely helps. Some of it seems helpful until you realize your parent never uses it. Some of it creates more problems than it solves because your parent doesn't understand how to use it or the technology fails at exactly the moment you need it. Some of it works great until your parent gets frustrated with it and turns it off, and then you don't know if they're okay or just avoiding the technology they resent.

The truth is that your parent is more likely to accept simple, reliable technology that solves a specific problem than they are to accept a complex ecosystem of connected devices. This is not because your parent is technophobic or stubborn. It's because technology that requires constant engagement is annoying, and technology that seems to be spying on you feels invasive, no matter how good the intention.

What technology actually helps

Smart locks are genuinely useful. Your parent doesn't have to fumble with keys, which is harder as strength and dexterity decline. They can unlock the door with a code. If they lose their keys, it's not a crisis. If you need access to the house and your parent can't get to the door, you can unlock it remotely. Some smart locks also let you see whether the door is locked or unlocked, which matters because your parent might forget to lock the door at night, and you can make sure they're secure remotely.

The tradeoff is that smart locks have batteries and sometimes the batteries die and the door won't unlock. They can be hacked or glitchy. They sometimes lock accidentally. But overall, a good smart lock is a genuine improvement over regular locks when your parent's physical ability is declining.

Lighting matters, especially at night. A smart light system where lights turn on when your parent gets out of bed means they're not stumbling around in the dark trying to find a light switch. Motion-sensor lights in hallways and bathrooms so your parent never navigates darkness. Lights on a timer so they turn on in the morning and turn off at bedtime, which helps regulate sleep for people whose internal clock is off. This is technology that works without your parent having to do anything except exist in the house.

Temperature control. A smart thermostat that learns your parent's preferences and maintains a comfortable temperature without your parent having to manually adjust it. In places with extreme heat or cold, this matters for health. If your parent forgets to adjust the heat or air conditioning, the system handles it automatically.

Medication reminders are genuinely helpful for some people. A device that alerts your parent when it's time to take medication, sometimes with a dispenser that only releases the correct medication at the right time. This works if your parent responds to reminders. It fails if your parent ignores the device or becomes frustrated with it.

Door and window sensors can alert you if your parent opens a door or window, which matters if they're inclined to wander. It matters less if they're staying put.

Those are the technologies that tend to work and to keep working because they either require minimal engagement or they solve a specific, annoying problem.

What doesn't help, and why

Comprehensive monitoring systems that track everything sound good until you realize your parent feels watched. Even if your parent rationally understands that you're doing it for safety, it can feel invasive. If your parent is already resistant to help, comprehensive monitoring usually backfires. They disable the devices or turn them off or refuse to accept them in the first place.

Complicated systems with lots of devices and apps and settings fail because your parent doesn't understand how to use them or the complexity overwhelms them. Your parent wants a light that turns on when they walk in the room. They don't want to learn an app. They don't want to troubleshoot connections. They don't want to manage battery levels on six different devices.

Fall detection cameras feel helpful in theory until you realize your parent doesn't want cameras in their bedroom or bathroom. Some people accept cameras in the living room. Most people don't. The cameras that actually see falls are the ones that are pointed at where falls happen, which is often private spaces.

Forced adoption of technology is a failure waiting to happen. Your parent might not want a smart home. Your parent might not want to be monitored. Your parent might prefer their simple landline telephone and paper calendar to any amount of connected devices. You can't technology someone into independence if they don't want the technology. At that point you're just making their life annoying.

Overly complicated systems where one device fails and the whole thing stops working. Smart homes have dependencies. If your internet goes down, everything goes down. If the hub fails, the system fails. When your parent actually needs help and the system fails, that's a real problem. Simple, redundant systems are better than complex ones that depend on everything working perfectly.

Creating a system that works

Start simple. What's the actual problem you're trying to solve? Is your parent falling? Is your parent forgetting to take medication? Is your parent vulnerable to wandering? Is your parent struggling with physical tasks like unlocking doors or turning on lights? Pick the one technology that solves the biggest problem.

Start with that. Install a smart lock if the problem is keys. Install medication reminders if the problem is forgotten doses. Install motion-sensor lights if the problem is stumbling in the dark. Make sure your parent understands how to use it and actually uses it before you add anything else.

If that technology works and your parent is happy with it, then consider the next problem. But don't start with five devices and hope your parent figures it out. Start with one. Make sure it works. Add more only if needed.

Choose technology that works whether your parent engages with it or not. Motion-sensor lights are great because they work without your parent having to remember to do anything. Smart locks are great because they're intuitive. Medication reminders work if your parent has the cognitive ability to respond to reminders. If your parent is already struggling with memory, a medication reminder they ignore doesn't help.

Keep backups. If your parent has a smart lock, your parent should still have a regular key hidden somewhere in case the smart lock fails. If your parent relies on internet-connected devices, you should know what happens if the internet goes down. Technology is helpful when it increases options, not when it's the only option.

Watch what your parent actually uses and what gathers dust. If the expensive device you installed isn't being used, don't add more devices. Stop and figure out what went wrong. Was it too complicated? Did your parent forget about it? Does your parent resent the surveillance aspect? Fix the problem before you add more technology.

Don't try to solve loneliness or isolation with technology. Your parent might not be lonely just because they're home alone. They might be fine. Or they might be genuinely lonely and a smart home isn't going to fix that. A smart home can't be a substitute for actual human connection. If loneliness is a problem, the answer is people, not more devices.

Real risks matter. Technology should address real risks that your parent is actually experiencing, not theoretical risks that might happen someday. Your parent probably doesn't need motion sensors in every room. Your parent probably doesn't need a camera in the kitchen. Your parent probably doesn't need a system that alerts you every time they move. That's not safety. That's surveillance.

Think about aging in place without technology first. Can it work? Can your parent manage their home without any of this? If yes, then technology is enhancement, not necessity. If no, then you understand what problems actually need solving. Start there.

The best smart home system is the one that's so simple your parent barely notices it's working. The lights turn on. The door unlocks. The temperature stays comfortable. Your parent gets to live their life without thinking about the technology. That's the goal. Not maximum monitoring or maximum features, but maximum livability with minimal friction. If you achieve that, you've done technology well.

How To Help Your Elders provides educational content for family caregivers. This is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or financial advice. Every family situation is different — what works for one may not work for another.