Temporary care solutions — when you need a plan but don't have one yet

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice. Please consult appropriate professionals for guidance specific to your situation.

Your parent is no longer able to be alone all day, but you're not ready to make a permanent decision about their living situation. You need time to figure out what comes next. You're overwhelmed. You're not sure if your parent should stay at home with help, or move somewhere, or what their needs actually are. You need a bridge, something temporary that keeps your parent safe while you figure it out.

Or maybe you've decided your parent needs to move, but moving takes time. You need a place for your parent to stay while you're preparing their new living situation. You need somewhere your parent can be cared for without that responsibility falling entirely on you.

Or maybe you're simply trying to figure out what will actually work before you commit. You want to test different living arrangements to see what feels right for your parent and your family.

These situations call for temporary care solutions. Options that exist to give you breathing room, time to think, space to make a plan.

Respite Care: A Break for You, Stability for Your Parent

Respite care is short-term care designed specifically to give family caregivers a break. Your parent stays somewhere overnight or for a few days or weeks while you have time to rest, handle other responsibilities, or just think clearly about what comes next.

Respite care can happen in a nursing home, in assisted living, in a specialty facility, or sometimes even at home where someone comes to stay with your parent while you're away. The duration varies. Some places offer just overnight respite, where your parent stays for one or two nights. Some offer longer respite stays, a week or two. Some can offer a month or more.

The key is that it's temporary and it's designed to help you, the caregiver. You get to sleep without worrying about your parent. You get to go to work or take care of other family members or just sit quietly for a few hours without being on call. Your parent gets professional care. Everyone wins.

But respite care only works if your parent is willing to go and if you find a place where your parent feels safe and is actually well cared for. If your parent is terrified of the respite stay and emerges traumatized, that's not respite for you because you're spending the whole time worried about them. If the facility is cold or neglectful, respite care defeats the purpose.

Finding good respite care takes the same kind of attention as finding any other care. Visit places. Ask about their experience with short-term residents. Ask what your parent will do during the day. Ask how they handle confusion or anxiety. If you find a good place, your parent might be willing to stay multiple times, which gives you regular breaks and gives your parent familiarity with the place.

Some insurance plans or Medicaid programs cover respite care. Some facilities offer it at reduced rates. Some Senior centers or churches offer volunteer respite programs. It's worth asking and investigating, because respite care is too important to give up on just because it costs money.

Adult Day Programs as a Bridge

Adult day programs serve people who can't be alone all day but don't need twenty-four-hour care. Your parent comes during the day, participates in activities and socializing, gets a meal or snacks, maybe has some health monitoring, and then you pick them up. It's structured care and social engagement during the hours your parent needs it most.

For you, this solves a specific problem: your parent can't be alone from nine to five while you work, but you're not ready to move them or hire full-time in-home care. Adult day program is the answer.

But adult day programs are also a testing ground. You're finding out what your parent actually needs. Does your parent do well in a group setting, or does it overwhelm them? Does your parent benefit from the activities and socialization, or do they seem more depressed when they come home? Does your parent's health seem more stable, or is the stress of going somewhere new affecting their wellbeing? Does your parent like the people there and the staff, or are they resistant every day?

The answers to these questions help you figure out what your parent needs long-term. If your parent thrives at day program, maybe the solution is more social engagement and less isolation. If your parent hates it despite your best efforts, maybe your parent needs a different solution. If your parent does well there but also needs overnight help and you can't provide it, maybe moving to a facility where they're present all the time is the answer.

Adult day program also gives you time to arrange your parent's home, test equipment, prepare for whatever comes next. You're not doing this all in crisis mode.

Staying at Home With Temporary Support

Maybe your parent's home is where they want to be, and it's working most of the time. Your parent needs help a few hours a day, or a few days a week, but not round-the-clock care. Hire help for those specific times. It might be an aide who comes mid-morning and helps with breakfast and the shower. It might be someone who comes when it comes down to it to help prepare dinner and ensure your parent takes their medications. It might be someone who comes a few times a week to do heavier housework.

This is not a permanent solution if your parent is declining and will eventually need more care. But as a bridge while you figure out what's next, it might be exactly right. Your parent stays home, maintains more independence, keeps their routines. You have some help so you're not doing everything yourself. And you have time to observe: is this enough help? Is your parent safe like this? Is your parent happy?

Sometimes that temporary help becomes a long-term arrangement. Your parent's decline is slower than you expected, and having a few hours of help a week is sustainable. Sometimes you realize after a few weeks that your parent needs more than this, and then you have conversations about other options. Either way, you're learning what actually works before you make a big change.

The Value of Observation and Learning

The point of all these temporary solutions is the same: they buy you time. Time to observe your parent's actual needs instead of your assumptions about those needs. Time to think clearly instead of acting in crisis. Time to test whether your parent will accept a certain situation. Time to explore options without committing to them.

Your parent doesn't adjust well to the adult day program? You now know that group settings might not work for them long-term. Your parent loves the day program and wants to go every day? You know that social engagement and activity really matter to them, so a solution that isolates them more probably isn't right.

Your parent can manage at home with a few hours of help, and you see that your parent is staying engaged and seems happy? You might be able to create a long-term solution around aging in place with support. Your parent gets home help but also gets out to senior center activities and maintains their independence.

These temporary solutions also reduce pressure on you. You're not forced into a permanent decision in crisis mode. You're not abandoning your parent to a facility because you're overwhelmed and can't think of what else to do. You're testing and learning and making informed choices. That's how you end up with solutions that actually work for your parent and your family, not just solutions that end the emergency.

You're also honoring your parent's agency and preference during a time when your parent is losing agency in other ways. Your parent gets to help shape what comes next. Your parent gets to experience different options and have opinions about them. That matters.

How To Help Your Elders provides educational content for family caregivers. This is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or financial advice. Every family situation is different — what works for one may not work for another.