This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or financial advice. Every family situation is different, and you should consult with appropriate professionals about your specific circumstances.

The Grandparent Scam — How It Works and How to Protect Them

Your parent gets a call or a text from someone claiming to be a grandchild in trouble. The supposed grandchild is in another country. The supposed grandchild was arrested. The supposed grandchild had a car accident. The supposed grandchild is in jail and needs bail. The tone of voice is urgent, scared, desperate. The caller says "Don't tell your parents" or "Don't tell anyone, this is embarrassing," which adds to the sense of secrecy and crisis.

Your parent's instinct is to help. That grandchild matters to your parent. Money is just money. If you can fix your grandchild's problem, of course you do it. Your parent is ready to help, and the scammer is counting on that. They're counting on love being a stronger motivator than logic.

The grandparent scam is one of the most effective scams targeting elderly people because it exploits something genuine and real: the love between grandparents and grandchildren. It creates urgency and emotional pressure. It demands secrecy. It asks for money, often wire transferred or sent via gift cards or cryptocurrency so the transaction can't be reversed. By the time your parent realizes the call wasn't really from a grandchild, the money is gone.

Understanding the Basics

The grandparent scam works because it feels personal and emotional rather than like a scam. Real scams feel impersonal and suspicious. They ask you to update passwords or confirm financial information. They want your credit card number. You can usually spot them because something feels off. The grandparent scam feels like an actual emergency with someone you love.

The caller might claim to be your parent's grandchild directly. Or they might claim to be the grandchild's friend or lawyer or bail bondsman. The setup varies, but the emotional core is the same. Someone your parent loves is in trouble. Your parent can fix it with money. Your parent is being asked to keep it quiet.

How do scammers get information? Some do research. They look at your parent's social media and find out what your parent's grandchildren are named. They find out where your parent lives, where they work, or what school their grandchildren attend. They have just enough real information to seem credible. Some call hundreds of people per day and eventually reach someone with grandchildren who's emotionally vulnerable to the story.

The urgency is artificial but feels real. The caller will say the grandchild can't talk because they're in police custody or in pain or whatever. The caller will pressure your parent to send money immediately. "You have one hour to get to the store." "Do this now before the bank closes." The time pressure prevents your parent from stopping to think.

The request for secrecy is intentional. Real emergencies don't involve telling a parent not to tell anyone. But scammers know that if your parent talks to another family member, someone will say "That sounds like a scam" and your parent might check. So the scammer explicitly asks for secrecy: "Don't tell your parents this is embarrassing" or "Keep this quiet, he doesn't want the family to know."

Your Parent's Specific Situation

Do you think your parent is vulnerable to this scam? Not because your parent is stupid, but because your parent loves their grandchildren and would do almost anything to help them. That makes your parent vulnerable.

Does your parent have access to money that could be wired or used quickly? If your parent doesn't have liquid assets, the scam can't succeed even if your parent falls for it. If your parent has thousands of dollars in savings that can be accessed, the potential loss is higher.

How tech-savvy is your parent? Could your parent be tricked into buying gift cards and reading off the numbers? Could your parent be convinced to wire money using their bank's app? Could your parent understand cryptocurrency or Zelle or other transfer methods? Scammers adapt to technology your parent actually uses.

Do your parent's grandchildren actually live far away, travel internationally, or attend school in another state? That context makes the story more believable. If all your parent's grandchildren live in the same town, a story about a grandchild being arrested in another country seems less likely.

How often does your parent actually talk to their grandchildren? Are they in regular contact, or is contact occasional? If your parent hasn't heard from a grandchild in months, a story about that grandchild being in trouble might not feel as implausible.

What is your parent's relationship with the other adults who manage the grandchildren? If your parent talks regularly to their children (the grandchildren's parents), your parent might easily say "Let me call your mom to arrange bail" before sending money. If your parent doesn't talk to those adults regularly, the scammer's pressure to keep it secret becomes more effective.

Taking Next Steps

Have a preventive conversation with your parent. This isn't alarming or accusatory. It's just real talk: "Hey, there's a scam going around where people call pretending to be grandchildren in trouble asking for money. If you ever get a call like that, what would you do?" Your parent's answer to that question tells you whether your parent knows to be skeptical.

Establish a code word or protocol with your parent and their grandchildren. If anyone is asking for money or says they're in an emergency, your parent should verify by calling the grandchild back at a number they know is right. They should call the grandchild's parents. They should tell someone before transferring money. A simple protocol takes seconds to establish and prevents scams.

Make sure all the grandchildren know that if they're ever in a real emergency, they should be upfront about it rather than asking their grandparent not to tell anyone. Real emergencies require transparency. The secrecy request is a red flag.

Talk to your parent about the warning signs. Someone claiming to be a grandchild but who won't talk to your parent directly. Someone asking for secrecy. Someone creating time pressure. Someone asking for specific payment methods like gift cards or wire transfer. Anyone who says "Don't tell anyone" should immediately trigger skepticism.

Suggest that your parent set up account alerts at their bank. If they're wiring money, talking to their bank might give them a chance to catch themselves. "I'm about to wire $5,000 to bail out my grandchild." A banker who's heard this story before might say "That sounds like a common scam. Let me help you verify." It's not foolproof, but it's a checkpoint.

If your parent receives a call from someone claiming to be a grandchild in trouble, your parent should hang up and call back the grandchild at a number they know is right. They should call the child's parents. They should talk to someone about what happened before sending any money. Ten minutes of verification beats $10,000 in losses.

If your parent sends money to a scammer, report it to the police and your parent's bank immediately. The bank might be able to reverse the transaction or at least have a record of what happened. The police need to know about the scam. Federal law enforcement tracks these patterns and uses the information to prosecute scammers.

The core protection is skepticism and verification. Scammers count on emotion overriding logic. They count on time pressure preventing verification. They count on secrecy preventing a reality check. Your parent's best protection is: if someone claiming to be a grandchild needs money urgently, verify that it's actually a grandchild before sending anything. That one step stops the scam in its tracks.

How To Help Your Elders is an educational resource. We do not provide medical, legal, or financial advice. The information in this article is general in nature and may not apply to your specific situation. If you are concerned about a loved one's cognitive health or safety, consult with their healthcare provider or contact your local Area Agency on Aging for guidance and support.